Living with Uncertainty

I was listening to a wonderful minister give a talk this morning, online of course, and I was struck, like hit over the head, with her message. She said that this, too, shall pass. Not just the bad stuff, like the pandemic, but everything. It’s all impermanent, except existence itself. We may hold on like we don’t want whatever it is is leave, but it still does. Does this hit you, too?

So I know I’ve been longing a bit for what used to be. The dinners with friends, the live music I went to hear, time with my sons, just to name a few. That’s not to say I won’t have more good times – I will. Right now I enjoy long walks with my trusty dog Rusty, and he enjoys that so much, too. I love speaking with my patients and families, and letting them know I support them. I could sit here and say that it’s not good enough, talking to patients on the phone. I need to be there in person. Well, that will come, and for right now, it IS good enough.

So much is uncertain right now. When will I get to work with my colleagues again? When will home visits be safe again? When will churches open? And when will I feel safe at a restaurant or a movie theater? When will being in a crowd of people feel good again? When will wearing masks and staying six feet apart no longer be necessary?

That last one, wearing masks and staying six feet apart, is still so very necessary, for me, for you, for the safety and health of us all. The virus is still here, spreading, sometimes invisible. I don’t want to get it, and I don’t want you to, either. Let’s not pretend that everything can go back to normal right now.

For now, I enjoy my outings to shop for groceries and pick up my mail. Masked and apart, I greet the people I see, and I feel better. I walk in the sunshine and give thanks for the beauty in which I live. I exercise through Zoom with my friends. I write with my group on Zoom. I pray and meditate on Zoom, and by myself, too. I take classes online. This is my reality now, for now, and it is good. I am grateful, and I am smiling. Thank you, God.